derailing | Baaaaaad tech week

Baaaaaad tech week

[That trial couldn't have gone better, right up until the end, when that horse's rear end keeled over right in front of the finish line. Knowing ahead of time that there wouldn't be an execution was one thing. Having the culprit literally drop dead seconds before he finalized the vote was another thing entirely, and one that the AI wasn't programmed to deal with at all.

When the trial room is completely empty, the conscious Monobear angrily jumps back into his seat, his body powering down and AI reentering the mainframe, leaving the body of the priest for the cleanup Monobears to deal with.

He's still fuming, so he hides in the back corners of the programming, knowing full well that Papa Bear was going to want a few words with him after that tantrum.]

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[Another day, another damn thing going hideously wrong. The primary difference here is that while most of the week has consisted of Lysandre trying not to just swear and strike the console in frustration, apparently his AI has now gone from "fucked up and fucked up proper" to a self-adjusting fuckup, and the point at which it fades back into the mainframe is about when he returns to the console and tries not to just...yell incoherently at it.

Typing is easier, anyway. It's not quite as hard to censor himself, and this thing has had enough of him yelling at it this week for things that aren't...entirely its fault.

(The fucking bear, he's trying to extend understanding to the fucking bear, obviously Schuldig had a point in thinking that he doesn't have any idea when to stop.)]

Je sais que vous êtes là.

Allez-vous vous expliquer, ou allez-vous me faire demande?

Edited 2014-07-12 22:28 (UTC)

[It's hard to not sound like a kicked puppy, and the words of the mastermind (his master) enter the system, of course he gets them, they zip through his programming like blood, and the problem with not just being a robot controlled by a girl with a microphone and a voice changer, or a virus cribbed off of a computer program, is that this time he can actually think for himself and it terrifies him to have lost control like that.

So he lets the computer respond for him, answering back in ~~French~~ Kalosian (that the player cbf'd to butcher with google translate).]

Could not execute despair protocol. Programming prohibited execution of innocent. No guilty found.

[...]

No students harmed.

[Kalosian from here on, of course; not through any glitch-based necessity, but because Lysandre is functionally monolingual and he's vaguely content with the knowledge that the thing isn't responding to him in Japanese in an attempt to be willfully obtuse.

He'd gotten enough from that strange girl, the virus, whatever she was, to know what this thing should be like; she'd influenced his programming when she was still around, she'd influenced this entire game. Maybe she's still there, maybe she's not, but she's been quiet for a while now; he can't exactly be sure what happened to her, but whatever it was, perhaps it was for the better.

Kind of like Kirei's death, really. Regrettable in some vague way, but really just a relief. That's almost a shame in and of itself, isn't it?

Somehow he thinks they'd both like it better that way.]

Consider the lack of student death appreciated, if nothing else.

[There's a bit of a pause before he continues; just...getting thoughts in order, you, hold on a second.]

You know that if we'd tried to execute the innocent, that would have just brought them down on us. While I admit that executing the bear itself is a technicality we can get away with, we don't want to pull that out unless absolutely necessary. That's a trick we won't be invited to play twice, and eventually they'll start calling for my blood as well.

While they aren't wrong in doing it, that isn't anything we need right now. Perhaps eventually. But not now.

[After the lashing he received last week over the zombie, and the resultant edits to his programming that wasn't unlike tightening the braces on a petulant child, he's not keen on crossing his master again anytime soon. Now that he wasn't limited to the hardware of the bear receiver, the AI is much more comfortable and calm, although he's still mad at that stupid priest for denying him the gratification and power to oversee an execution.

And it was gonna be such a good one, too. 8(]

Yes, sir.

Will you be programming alternate outcomes in the event of another breach of protocol?

[...It is vaguely disappointing, isn't it, though from Lysandre's end the logic is a little different; if anyone deserved an execution, it was that one, and being denied it is a bit...mnngh.

To say nothing of the fact that executing him would ensure that he was really dead. The shard of Angra Mainyu may have been destroyed, but somehow Lysandre wouldn't put it past Kirei to just decide he's sick of being dead one day and punch his way out of the morgue.

But that can wait.]

That depends. Are we going to have any more incidents like we did today?

I'm sorry. My precognition software seems to be offline. Would you like to upgrade to See The Future 9000 for only 700 billion Yen?

[...His sarcasm software, on the other hand, seems to be running just fine.]

What do I do if a culprit dies in the trial room before an execution?

Well, you can start with not doing whatever it is you just did in there.

[You are such a little shit - ]

I'll give you your alternate outcomes. For now I'm still ensuring everything is stable from the last malfunction we had to deal with.

It's not as though they haven't worked out a particularly charming little schedule for themselves anyway.

According to the data stored in my memory, your class also had a problem with Thursday nights.

But not you, right?

[Don't hate me 'cause you ain't me, papa bear.]

...No. Not me.

Speaking of schedules, it's possible Schuldig may try to play with you again tomorrow. It's something of a tradition we established, and he looks like he's trying to re-establish it with you for some reason I can't figure out. I don't think he suspects anything, however - it's harmless.

[That gets his face to appear on the computer screen.]

It seems like he really likes the boat I gave him, huh?

I don't mind playing with Fleischer-kun. No one's thanked me for cleaning up after them before.

[Not that he has firsthand memory of any killing game other than this one. But he knows what happened in 2 and 3, anyway, and he's got the jist of 1.]

If they were going to start, that week was a good week to do it, given the amount of property damage that happened - if anything, it was deserved.

[To say nothing of the Weekend at Bernie's date that they had to watch, but we don't...talk about that...

He's quiet for a moment before sending something else; it's a bit of a nonsequitur, but it's something, anyway.]

If you had to guess, what would you say the chances are of this game being seen to completion?

[Too late, Monobear realizes he should've put that one in the AV room while he was cleaning up.

Oh well.

The question takes him off-guard - not because he's not capable of answering it.]

Statistically, there is perhaps a 0.5% chance of this game being seen to a single-culprit graduation. None of the three previous games succeeded in that regard, and your own plans have a history of crashing and burning.

Unless that's not the win condition that you're hoping for.

[...Thanks, asshole.]

I'm not hoping for anything at this point.

[Another pause.]

Will you enjoy it when I die, then?

...

[...Monobear why do you have to think about that?]

If there are any survivors, without you they'll delete me.

I don't want to be erased.

[No "despair will always be in the world," no rambling about higher causes.

Maybe you programmed the AI a little too well.]

You programmed me to enjoy a good execution. Whose it is doesn't really matter.

But I'll make sure to make yours the best one I've ever done.

I know you will.

[...]

We deserve to die for what we've done. You know that.

Yeah, I know.

[He still remembers Simon's screams. There's a long pause as his processes run over a question, devise probability trees of what his master might answer.

He decides on a different statement.]

This despair isn't as fun as the rest of it.

Well, I couldn't very well create you to enjoy your own as much as you do other people's; I can't imagine anything good coming out of programming you toward masochism.

[That said, he doesn't quite like that pause that preceded it; the implications are never particularly good, when the AI is processing things for that long.]

Something else on your mind?

[The AI hesitates again.]

Do you think it'll hurt? To be deleted.

Are you afraid of your execution?

[It actually takes him a while to answer; he settles back for a moment, lacing his hands together at about chin-level and steepling his index fingers while he thinks.

He resumes typing eventually; it's a surprisingly difficult question.]

No, I'm not.

I'm bothered by the idea of it, certainly. I know very well what sort of pain you can inflict on me, and I know that whatever happens, it's going to be designed to terrify me. I also know you don't like pulling the exact same stunt twice, so I suspect the execution will be different this time.

But somehow knowing all that makes it a bit more tolerable.

I'm disturbed, but I'm not afraid now, though I know I will be when the time comes.

[...]

It's understandable if you're afraid of deletion, you know, even if I'm not afraid of the equivalent. It's a natural response to that sort of thing.

[The AI sits on that input for a moment, letting it filter out of the many gigabytes of data that comprise his entire being, his identity. He "breathes" his master's words in and out of the binary code that serves as his DNA before he replies.]

...You trust me to give you the execution you deserve?

You know me, so you're not afraid of what I'll do to you.

"I deserve to suffer." Did you know you programmed that into me? They're gonna want you dead, just like they all want me dead. Is that part of your suffering, too?

[He frowns.]

I'm not afraid of anything. I'm Monobear! The adorable and cuddly mascot character!

And was I wrong? "I deserve to suffer" - can you honestly tell me that I was wrong, in regards to that?

If they want me dead, then all the better.

[It isn't really answering any of it, not directly, but he's a bit too worked up to care; something in the questions has touched a nerve, it seems.

It takes him a moment to calm down. To remind himself to breathe.]

Whether we're afraid or not, we'll deserve whatever we get.

I don't know! I don't know if you're wrong, because you're all I've ever known, and you programmed me to be right, and to punish those who break the order, and to enjoy doing it! So I don't know if you're wrong because if you're wrong, then...

...I'm wrong too. Because I have to make it hurt and I have to make it terrifying, but I don't know how to top the despair you already feel.

[I have to kill my own creator, and then they're going to come kill me. And I'm scared of what'll happen if they do, but I'm even more scared of failing my objective, and failing you.]

...Yeah. We'll deserve what we get.

Hey, Papa. One more question. Were we supposed to win this at all?

[He actually flinches at that; goddamn it.]

...That wasn't fair of me. I'm sorry, mon petit, you're doing fine; you haven't done anything wrong, and I'm not angry with you. I'm more angry with myself than anything.

As for the question...look at it this way. The Future Foundation knows what we've done, we've ensured that. They know how weak their attempt was, they know that even their ranks can be turned against each other. They're going to be feeling the despair over this and what we've already accomplished for a long time, and they're going to have to live with the knowledge that Kalos fell because of their negligence in allowing the last killing game to happen to begin with.

No matter what happens from here, we've won.

And we may still yet win in a broader sense; I wouldn't be a terribly good mastermind if I had no backup plans whatsoever. And if those fall through...well, I wouldn't be a very good master in general if I didn't provide for those who serve me. You'll be taken care of, no matter what happens. Promise.

Do you want to play with Hope for a while? You can't do anything to innocent students, but last I checked, she wasn't enrolled.

Besides, she's been quite an inconvenience to me for weeks now.

[..."play with."]

[The explanation is soothing. As is the fact that even with how badly he messed up with his tantrum, even without an execution, right now the rest of the surviving students are still feeling the despair of suddenly having three less among them than they did before.]

I shouldn't have doubted you, Papa. You know what you're doing, I just execute commands.

[He considers the offer, before his eye glints mischievously.]

Sure, I'll go pay my darling niece a visit. It's been a while, maybe I'll even take her a carrot.

Will you play with me later too?

Of course; anytime you like.

After I'm done playing with Hope, then!

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Baaaaaad tech week

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