RyΕ«nosuke UryΕ« (ι¨ηιΎδΉδ») (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
greatestcool) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
derailing2015-07-16 09:36 pm
greatestcool) wrote in derailing2015-07-16 09:36 pm
Entry tags:
sometimes these cuts are so much deeper than they seem
[It's been a rough day. Sure, Ryuunosuke's been sleeping through most of it, but recovering from a massive shoulder injury takes a lot out of you! Especially when you can't magically heal, goddammit Tsukiyama. Ryuunosuke doesn't regret it at all but he still feels sort of out of it after that conversation yesterday. Overall he feels better (ignoring the pain, of course) but for the majority of the day he's done nothing but sleep and lie in bed.
Ryuunosuke is actually up in the evening, but he's only sitting at the desk and writing. As usual, it's in Chinese and he pauses every so often to twirl the pen between his fingers while he thinks. He's never been the sort to keep notes or anything, but writing down his thoughts has actually helped him tremendously. It's a way to vent his feelings without having to talk to anyone. No wonder people keep diaries! He's got several sheets covered in writing around the time the nighttime announcements should go off, but he's not expecting Tsukiyama for a little while longer. Tsukiyama doesn't have anything to worry about from the other students after all, and Ryuunosuke doubts anyone would kill this early in the evening anyway.
The door is open a crack as usual, so Tsukiyama can let himself in should he want to!]
Ryuunosuke is actually up in the evening, but he's only sitting at the desk and writing. As usual, it's in Chinese and he pauses every so often to twirl the pen between his fingers while he thinks. He's never been the sort to keep notes or anything, but writing down his thoughts has actually helped him tremendously. It's a way to vent his feelings without having to talk to anyone. No wonder people keep diaries! He's got several sheets covered in writing around the time the nighttime announcements should go off, but he's not expecting Tsukiyama for a little while longer. Tsukiyama doesn't have anything to worry about from the other students after all, and Ryuunosuke doubts anyone would kill this early in the evening anyway.
The door is open a crack as usual, so Tsukiyama can let himself in should he want to!]
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[I don't trust myself to stop.
He shakes his head after a moment. Tries to dismiss it.]
Ahhh, you're right, of course - we'll be prepared next time, should it come to that. Ideally, however, it won't come up at all.
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...Are you okay?
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[Are you going to let it go now or- ]
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Yeah. Of course. Tsukiyama's fine. There's no reason to be concerned at all.
"...I don't want any more."]
Yeah. I know.
...If you... do ever want to talk about that sort of thing, I'll listen.
[It's the best he can offer but it's not good enough.]
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He hesitates a bit at that; his expression is edging back into awkward, blatant staring territory again before he makes himself stop.]
...I've just never experienced something like that before, that's all.
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[There isn't a nice way to put this, is there?]
...the fact that you've been hungry for awhile?
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Sorry I... definitely wasn't helping. Do you think you'll be okay until we can make our move?
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It's going to take at least another two weeks, possibly three at this rate, and - ]
I think so, yes. I should be.
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[That gets him to relax immediately. Tsukiyama wouldn't lie to him about something like this.]
But let me know if you start feeling bad again, okay? Don't... Don't hurt yourself again.
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[...]
I just don't like seeing you hurt.
[That feels so strange to say. He's pretty sure he's never even thought it before.]