RyΕ«nosuke UryΕ« (ι¨ηιΎδΉδ») (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
greatestcool) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
derailing2015-07-16 09:36 pm
greatestcool) wrote in derailing2015-07-16 09:36 pm
Entry tags:
sometimes these cuts are so much deeper than they seem
[It's been a rough day. Sure, Ryuunosuke's been sleeping through most of it, but recovering from a massive shoulder injury takes a lot out of you! Especially when you can't magically heal, goddammit Tsukiyama. Ryuunosuke doesn't regret it at all but he still feels sort of out of it after that conversation yesterday. Overall he feels better (ignoring the pain, of course) but for the majority of the day he's done nothing but sleep and lie in bed.
Ryuunosuke is actually up in the evening, but he's only sitting at the desk and writing. As usual, it's in Chinese and he pauses every so often to twirl the pen between his fingers while he thinks. He's never been the sort to keep notes or anything, but writing down his thoughts has actually helped him tremendously. It's a way to vent his feelings without having to talk to anyone. No wonder people keep diaries! He's got several sheets covered in writing around the time the nighttime announcements should go off, but he's not expecting Tsukiyama for a little while longer. Tsukiyama doesn't have anything to worry about from the other students after all, and Ryuunosuke doubts anyone would kill this early in the evening anyway.
The door is open a crack as usual, so Tsukiyama can let himself in should he want to!]
Ryuunosuke is actually up in the evening, but he's only sitting at the desk and writing. As usual, it's in Chinese and he pauses every so often to twirl the pen between his fingers while he thinks. He's never been the sort to keep notes or anything, but writing down his thoughts has actually helped him tremendously. It's a way to vent his feelings without having to talk to anyone. No wonder people keep diaries! He's got several sheets covered in writing around the time the nighttime announcements should go off, but he's not expecting Tsukiyama for a little while longer. Tsukiyama doesn't have anything to worry about from the other students after all, and Ryuunosuke doubts anyone would kill this early in the evening anyway.
The door is open a crack as usual, so Tsukiyama can let himself in should he want to!]
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[Ryuunosuke...]
Didn't I tell you we shouldn't discuss this here?
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[shouldn't have done it]
Sorry.
[immensely regrets everything]
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[He...hesitates, once that's out there. Ryuunosuke wants honesty, doesn't he?]
I'm not trying to argue, I just...don't understand.
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[That does get him to relax easily and Ryuunosuke tips his head as he thinks.]
Maybe part of it's because I've never dealt with anything like this before? I'm used to faking it, sure, but this is completely different. I've always been kind of impatient - I mean I can usually coax myself into waiting for the perfect moment to strike when I'm picking victims and stuff but this is...
[Hmm. Actually...]
Well, this is new! It's kind of exciting but it's also kinda nerve-wracking. That makes it sound like a horror movie or a roller coaster or something though.
[ryuunosuke fucking uryuu ladies and gentlemen, the master of emotions]
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...I'm fairly sure you just described "anticipation", amore, that's understandable.
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Oh! Yeah, that! That sounds about right!
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It won't be much longer that you have to wait. If we can get the number down to seven we can actually guarantee victory - killing two people apiece will leave three people for the trial, both of us and one innocent person. If we both vote for them, that's a majority and we win.
...We should return to the original plan, I think, regardless of motive. Start pushing them until they break. Encourage the bloodbath instead of waiting to see when it comes. It's a little inelegant, but it's the best thing we have.
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[Ryuunosuke closes his eyes again, tipping his head back a bit. It won't be long now. They'll be able to leave this awful place soon.
Talking strategy is an obvious way to avoid the awkward topic of conversation and in some ways he's kind of disappointed. Still, he decides it's for the best; there's no sense in trying to press Tsukiyama on this because he's right - they will get distracted.]
Who cares now inelegant it is? If it's effective it doesn't matter how it looks.
[That's a far cry from where he was weeks ago, but that's what this place does to you.]
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[SERIOUSLY, THOUGH.]
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[He glances away and his expression is pretty dark.
Ryuunosuke isn't exactly claustrophobic, but being trapped in here with the same people for so long is getting to him. He's especially concerned giving the reactions Allie has been (accidentally) getting out of him.]
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Uryuu. Look at me.
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Yeah...?
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[He smiles a bit; come on. It's okay.]
We'll be home soon and out of this situation, and even if it's been terrible our lives will be so much better for it.
There's benefit to be found in every new experience we have; no matter what happens here, we've found each other and that's what matters.
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[That gets him to relax and Ryuunosuke returns the smile.]
I don't care how bad the rest of my stay is here. Nothing - nothing - can ever taint the fact that I was able to meet you here. I'm... I'm so happy.
[Last week sucked. This week has sucked. Next week will probably suck too. But eventually they will get out and they'll return to Tokyo together. It'll all be worth it then.]
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[It's not accusatory.]
I don't doubt what you're telling me - but overall, you're holding up?
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[He runs a hand back through his hair with a sigh.]
I don't regret helping you at all and I'd do it again, however many times you need me to. But man, it really hurts. I'm being careful with the pain meds though. And then there's... the stupid gummy bears and everything we discussed yesterday and falling down the stairs... ugh.
[Ryuunosuke could be more of a wreck. Staying in the room has probably been the best decision he's made this week.]
But I do feel a lot better than I did yesterday. And maybe everything won't be okay right away, but as long as I have you I'll be fine. I'm sure of that.
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[He doesn't try to touch it, but his gaze does flick back over to Ryuunosuke's shoulder for a moment.]
You shouldn't have to do that again; I'll be all right for a while.
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I'm glad. I'm... really glad I could help you.
[He'll just ignore the everything that his head decided to do yesterday. Tsukiyama was right about it - there's no sense in dwelling on why he's weird and wrong by human standards.]
But I'm also not going to complain about not having to go through that again!
[Ryuunosuke laughs and the sound is light; he's feeling better today at least.]
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I don't want to do that to you again besides - it didn't seem to go well for either of us, n'est-ce pas?
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[He's still smiling, but the expression is awkward.]
Like I said, I don't mind. I'll do what I can to help you. I'd just... definitely have to look away...
[Ryuunosuke has no idea what any of that was and while it's still sort of terrifying, at least it's over.]
But I'm sure if you did have to do it again it'd go better next time. We both know what to expect now.
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[I don't trust myself to stop.
He shakes his head after a moment. Tries to dismiss it.]
Ahhh, you're right, of course - we'll be prepared next time, should it come to that. Ideally, however, it won't come up at all.
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...Are you okay?
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[Are you going to let it go now or- ]
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Yeah. Of course. Tsukiyama's fine. There's no reason to be concerned at all.
"...I don't want any more."]
Yeah. I know.
...If you... do ever want to talk about that sort of thing, I'll listen.
[It's the best he can offer but it's not good enough.]
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He hesitates a bit at that; his expression is edging back into awkward, blatant staring territory again before he makes himself stop.]
...I've just never experienced something like that before, that's all.
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